“Set Yourself Free” by Ralph Marston"

---"There is no outside force holding you back. You are holding you back and you are blaming it on someone or something else. The way you are able to continue holding yourself back is by maintaining the illusion that you're a victim. Once you realize that illusion, you will naturally and easily move forward. In fact, it is easier to fulfill your best possibilities than it is to avoid them. So let go of the blame and watch the limitations drop away. Certainly there will always be challenges that hold you back. For each challenge provides you with a pathway through which you can move toward fulfillment. It is your very nature to accomplish. Lovingly accept your destiny, and allow that accomplishment to be manifest through you. Set yourself free to follow your purpose. Set yourself free to truly live."

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

VLCD 1 ( R2 P2 ) 206.3

3 days of loading and having a "free for all" with sugar and carbs really did a number on the scale but I did thoroughly enjoy it. That's 7.7 above my LIW on Round 1. The sugar is still in my system and it's going to be a trip coming out of the sugar fog. Today at work there is a cupcake sale and everyother day it's someone's birthday and the director buys a cake. There's another birthday tomorrow. When you stand there and don't eat cake, everyone tries to offer you a piece. It reminds me of that Seinfeld episode where Elaine rages about cake days.

I'm taking the HCG drops and don't really know how often I should take them and when. The bottle says 7 drops 3x or more times per day. The first three days of VLCD are brutal but I don't want to be spraying whenever I feel hungry and use up the entire bottle in a week.

Here's to a successful P2 and to get further away from 200 with more of a cushion this time. My last LIW was 198.6. When on P3 and P4, going up and down and back and forth between the 200 number was not good psychologically. I know it's just a number but there is such an emotional connotation to being under 200. It's like the magic *transition* number. The plan is to stay strong and keep working to see a number in the 180's.

I'm wearing a very cute sundress and heels today which I would not have had the confidence to wear before. I still feel self-conscious because I see the old *me* when I look in the mirror. It's funny that no matter what weight I am, the self-doubt and embarassment still lingers. But I got a really nice compliment this morning so I'm just trying to work it for now.