“Set Yourself Free” by Ralph Marston"

---"There is no outside force holding you back. You are holding you back and you are blaming it on someone or something else. The way you are able to continue holding yourself back is by maintaining the illusion that you're a victim. Once you realize that illusion, you will naturally and easily move forward. In fact, it is easier to fulfill your best possibilities than it is to avoid them. So let go of the blame and watch the limitations drop away. Certainly there will always be challenges that hold you back. For each challenge provides you with a pathway through which you can move toward fulfillment. It is your very nature to accomplish. Lovingly accept your destiny, and allow that accomplishment to be manifest through you. Set yourself free to follow your purpose. Set yourself free to truly live."

Monday, August 2, 2010

VLCD 15 ( R2 P2 ) : 196.9

Today is my 2nd wedding anniversary we got married in Vegas two years ago today. My only regret is that I wore a black short sleeve dress to our wedding. I thought I could buy something to wear when we got there but at the time I was about 223 pounds and really couldnt find anything good to wear that wasnt sleeveless so I had to wear a dress from my suitcase. My youngest was six months at the time so it was kind of an unplanned trip. I just got too frustrated shopping for a dress and I just thought I looked too fat in whatever I tried on - everything was sleeveless. I can not wear sleeveless because I have abnormal flab on the tops of my arms -it almost looks like the skin that a turkey has on its chin. So anyways I cannot dwell on that. I thought I looked nice despite the fact that it is probably not good superstitious wise to get married in black. The photos turned out nice and I wore high heeled silver sandals. We went to dinner after the ceremony at Les Auberges in the Paris hotel and then went to see the Eiffel tower - very cool.

My favourite flower is the Sunflower and I awoke to some really nice ones in the kitchen in a vase with a beautiful card. It has been a rough two years but we are really working on working through our issues and are still together suprisingly.

The offer was to go for a steak dinner at the Keg. It is a civic holiday here in Ontario today so it would have been nice but I declined because I just do not want to be tempted with overeating. Yes, I could order an 8 oz steak and cut it in half and have salad or veggies on the side but I do not know what they put on steak and I do not trust that it will be *protocol clean* if I make a special order. Plus we had bbq steak last night I put away 3.5 oz for dinner againt tonight.

I have been painting my daughters room since about 11 this morning and am sweating like a bulldog. I need to buy an edger but all the stores are closed today. So I have left the edges at the top and bottom until I can buy one. I am not skilled enought to just use a brush and not get it on the baseboards and ceiling. She will be home from camp next Sunday and I want to surprise her. So I have some time to do the finishing touches before then. She wanted blue because she says she is not into the *girly* pink. I am just hoping it does not end up looking like a baby boys nursery with the blue that I have chosen. I got her a new duvet cover and a beautiful blue lamp so it should look alright when I am done.

So back to guzzling water now. I feel like I should be further along with the weight loss but I am taking it for what it is considering that I had a previous failed attempt at P2 and went up to 207 with the loading. One day at a time is all I keep thinking. I am eating clean and it will be slow but sure. (sorry for the bad grammar - i cannot use apostrophes on this damned laptop - have not figured out how to change the language settings from french to english yet!!!)

Sending good loss or stabilizing vibes to everyone.