VLCD 32: 205.6 ( R1 P2 )

Very discouraged. I did an apple day two days ago and didn't see a loss. I've only lost 0.3 of a pound. When I re-read the protocol it said an apple day won't work unless it is a true stall of 4 days or more. I'm pissed off at my scale because it shows a lower weight but then when I re-check it seems to stabilize at the same reading after several times of moving it around.

So I'm keeping on truckin'. This evening I went to a retirement get-together at a pub and all the people around me were eating pub food: nachos, chicken fingers, homemade fries, chicken wings....... I just tried to enjoy the conversation and had a diet pepsi. No one mentioned or commented that I wasn't eating anything. I don't even know if they noticed because people were eating at different times (some got there later than others) and the atmosphere was not a sit-down dinner - it was quite casual. I had enough of looking at food and left at about 6:30 (it started at around 5pm). It's so funny that I notice such slim people ordering such fattening food. I can't figure that out.

I was so hungry on drive home I went through the drive-thru and got a McDonald's grilled chicken without the bun and no mayo and no cheese. I blotted the chicken very thoroughly with napkins and put salt and pepper and vingegar on it and it was topped with tomato and lettuce. I sat in the parking log and ate it with a fork and knife. The void was filled quite nicely and I went home and had an apple with a shake of cinnamon on it. I can still have my melba toast tonight if I want it.

My water consumption has been VERY poor. I think that may be the problem. It almost sickens me to drink water. I have to make a schedule of when to drink it throughout the day and stick to it. I feel like I'm failing - I try to be a perfectionist in certain things I do to a fault. There's other things that I just go with the flow and make do with what I can. But with this protocol, I wanted to reach 195. I know 25 pounds is good but I wanted it to be better. I only have 6 injections to go and then 3 days of 500 calorie days with no injections.

I'm going to go drink some water now and see what tomorrow brings. It's been a long week and am just starting to feel a little down. People I haven't seen in a while commented tonight and told me I looked great. Which was nice because 25 pounds off my body does show for sure. My goal is a flat stomach but that is still a long ways off.