“Set Yourself Free” by Ralph Marston"

---"There is no outside force holding you back. You are holding you back and you are blaming it on someone or something else. The way you are able to continue holding yourself back is by maintaining the illusion that you're a victim. Once you realize that illusion, you will naturally and easily move forward. In fact, it is easier to fulfill your best possibilities than it is to avoid them. So let go of the blame and watch the limitations drop away. Certainly there will always be challenges that hold you back. For each challenge provides you with a pathway through which you can move toward fulfillment. It is your very nature to accomplish. Lovingly accept your destiny, and allow that accomplishment to be manifest through you. Set yourself free to follow your purpose. Set yourself free to truly live."

Thursday, October 21, 2010

R3 P2 VLCD 4 : 203.9

Well it's day 4 and I'm down 7.1 pounds. That's only half of the14 pound loading gain lost but I'll take it.

I am still disgusted at myself that I went back up over 200 again all the way to 211 with the loading. I had been stabilized between 190-195 before the loading. Oh well. I still have 39 injections left. So enough time to get back make some good headway into the lower decades of numbers. Something in the 180's would be nice.

I had to defer my trip to San Fran to write the bar exam. It really bothers me that I'm not prepared and I'm losing quite a hefty registration fee. But I will register again for next June. With starting the new job and trying to prove myself to the new director and juggling all the craziness I wasn't able to get in all the study that is required and I definitely know that I'm not prepared enough to write that exam and get a passing mark. I think it would be worse if I wrote it and failed. I am still really disappointed in myself though. I know I shouldn't be but having a plan and not seeing it through really eats at my core. It came to a point of paying attention to my 3 girls and spending time with them or locking myself in a quiet room all night after work to study. My children had to come first. So on to plan B and I have 7 months to spread out the study that needs to get done. I have to be strict and plan accordingly to stick to the schedule.

Welcome to the new HCG community members. Thanks everyone for your supportive comments. It helps to know that you have people rooting for you that know the drill.

Sending good releasing and/or stabilizing vibesto everyone.

P.S. has anyone heard of the clothing brand BENCH? All 11 year-olds are into that now and I just can't believe the prices they charge for the poor quality. Oh well. $89 plus tax later. I finally gave in because her marks are all A+ and she's been helping at home. She's estatic to wear it to school tomorrow.

Monday, October 18, 2010

R3 P2 - VLCD 1

OMG - I gained 14 pounds over three days of loading. Please say it isn't so. I almost had a heart attack looking at the number this morning. I tried it about 10 times with the scale in all different places and even reset it a few times. I could understand if I ate everthing in sight but I thought I was being conservative!!

Today is R3 P2 VLCD 1. I am just in shock and freaking out. I was hovering around 195 -196ish since the end of the last round. I was going to start last week but I have been sick with a cold that just won't go away for about two weeks now. So it's only the past few days that I feel better enough. I didn't want to start a new round in the middle of being sick.

So anyways, it will take me half a round or more just to lose this!!!!! What am I to do??? Is it even possible to gain 14 pounds loading? Granted I did a third day of loading but still. I am going to down about 6 litres of water today and pray to see a much lower number on that scales tomorrow morning.