“Set Yourself Free” by Ralph Marston"

---"There is no outside force holding you back. You are holding you back and you are blaming it on someone or something else. The way you are able to continue holding yourself back is by maintaining the illusion that you're a victim. Once you realize that illusion, you will naturally and easily move forward. In fact, it is easier to fulfill your best possibilities than it is to avoid them. So let go of the blame and watch the limitations drop away. Certainly there will always be challenges that hold you back. For each challenge provides you with a pathway through which you can move toward fulfillment. It is your very nature to accomplish. Lovingly accept your destiny, and allow that accomplishment to be manifest through you. Set yourself free to follow your purpose. Set yourself free to truly live."

Saturday, August 28, 2010

Day 2 ( R2 P3 ) 191.5

Hi folks,
My apologies for the absenteeism. Things have been crazy busy especially with my new position at work. I sometimes regret taking on this job even though it was a promotion because it is one of those jobs that is analagous to a *fixer-upper* house. Lots of issues to resolve and no budget or resources to do that. Put I am plugging away and keeping the possibility of other options open. Ive been trying to check in on you guys now and then and am wishing good losing or stabilizing vibes to everyone.

The weight I have decided to start P3 with is 191.5. I did see 188 on the scales but I kept hovering between 188 and 192 mostly losing the same 4 pounds over and over again in the last week or so. Being itchy as all hell doesnt help and I am going to a dermatologist next week because Im convinced Ive contracted fleas or cooties or something but its just on my inside forearms, neck, side of my face and head. Very bizarre but you know its bad when you actually have to go to the washroom so that you can scratch in private. Its gotten that bad.

So I am happy with 191.5. It makes an official 40 pounds lost. This is the smallest I have been in a long long time. And now to get to a goal of 145 I only have 46.5 pounds left to lose. Thats a far cry from the 125 pounds I had to lose when i was at an all time high of 269.9.

So even though I have only lost 7.1 pounds on R2 those 7.1 pounds were hard earned through blood sweat and tears. Ok well maybe not blood but the point is Ive made it through, my eating habits have changed for the better and I have so much more self control. The bonus is that I am getting further and further away from the 200 mark and at 191.5 its quite possible that I will never see it again.

We went to an exhibition yesterday which I guess is similar to a county fair and I had a sausage no bun. I was able to avoid all the carnival foods and even though the smells were so tempting I was okay with my sausage and some cashews. Thats a huge improvement - actually a gazillion times better than last summer.

I booked my registration for the baby bar exam on October 26th in Oakland. I am looking for a good deal on a flight but the more I read about Oakland I wish I had picked Los Angeles as the test centre instead. I thought Oakland would be nice because its so close to San Fran but the more i read about the high crime rate, Im starting to get anxiety about staying there and about my safety. Has anyone ever been to Oakland and if so, is it really as bad as Im reading about...

Sending good loss or stabilitzation vibes to everyone.


  1. You have done an awesome job moving away from the 200 mark! Your goal is getting closer and closer. YAY!

    I have family that lives in Oakland. There are good and bad parts, as with any city. It really is not that far from SF and Sacramento. How long will you be there? I would stay either at the airport or maybe downtown??? I haven't been to Oakland in soo long though. Keep up the awesome work!!!

  2. You are doing an amazing job and I am thrilled for you! Every lb you lose is a lb you will never see again!! WAY TO GO GIRL! :)

  3. You have done a remarkable job! I'm so pleased for you. I know how hard it was flipping between the 100s and 200s. You're far enough away from that borderline now that I truly believe you won't be seeing the 200s ever again! :)

    I wish I could advise you on Oakland. I used to live in Northern California but that was 20 years ago. I have no idea!

  4. Congratulations on the 40 lbs loss! Look how you behaved at the carnival and kept to protocol, you've made more than just physical changes in your life. You are doing a great job!

  5. You are WAY MORE than half-way to your goal!! You have lost more weight than you have yet to lose! What a wonderful place to be!! I know every one of those pounds was hard-won too.

    Don't you feel better? I'll bet you're getting a lot of compliments too!

    I'm sorry your new work is proving to be more than what you had bargained for, but I have every confidence that you are going to shine nonetheless!! You are such a wonderful woman, in so very many ways, and I'm hopeful this position will either let those qualities be displayed, OR will lead to an even better position for you!

    love you!

  6. Hey you....I have been slacking! Just catching up and wanted to say hi!

  7. Good job keep at it. You are doing amazing pretty soon your going to be buying tons of new clothing. I agree about the losing for dang pounds over and over again. I finally decided to start my 3rd round and get the last of it gone. You are strong staying right there in the middle of all the smells and only eating the good proteins.

  8. I did have some stinging too. My husband told me to make sure my skin was completely dry after I clean it with the alcohol pad/before I start injecting. No more stinging for me.

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