VLCD 3 (R2 P2 ) 199.8

After two days of loading I went up to 207.4. OMG - I felt disgusted with myself. Now I am glad to report that there is a one in front of my weight again instead of a 2. I was only going to do two days of loading but on Wednesday evening I decided WTH because I had to go to dinner for a special occassion so I started VLCD 1 on Thursday instead.

I bought a new netbook computer yesterday because our desktop has recurring viruses and is not kind of caput. It is being repaired. With this netbook I feel like I am typing in a fishbowl - it is going to take some getting used to. I cannot type apostrophes or quotations or they show up as French accents. The keyboard is set to French Canadian language and I have to figure out how to change it. This is my second go at typing this post as I have already somehow deleted it the first time by mistake.

I received a Versatile Blogger award from Bunpoh @ The Angry Inch: A Weight Loss Odyssey. I am so honoured. The award comes with some guidelines.
1. Thank the person that gave you the award - Thank you, Bunpoh!
2. Share 7 things about yourself.
3. Nominate 15 blogs that you have discovered recently- okay I cheated abit with this one because some of my 15 I have been reading for quite some time now.
4. Let the bloggers know that you have nominated them.

So here goes - 7 things:

1. I am Canadian - probably should be more of a proud Canadian but there are a lot of things that Canada could do better - we are seriously overtaxed to the hilt but I am grateful for universal healthcare and our gun laws.

2. I have three beautiful daughters - ages 2, 7 and almost 11.

3. I have been overweight ever since I can remember- since age 7 I think. I think the last time I ever saw under 200 pounds was when I was 17 and it wasn't much under. (I just figured out how to use apostrophes on this keyboard I think - yahoo)

4. My first two children are from a previous relationship of 7 years which ended in disaster and a long drawn out custody battle. He is completely out of the picture now which is a good thing. I am married to my husband who is the father of my youngest child and to my seven year old, he is her father. She doesn't know differently and I really don't know how I will deal with telling her if she does question it some day. My oldest daughter calls him by his first name and not dad. Too wierd - I know. We were married in Vegas which was very cool. We have a very rocky relationship but we're working on it. I've come to the realization that I have way more issues to deal with than I thought and losing this weight has brought a lot of them to the forefront and I am seriously working at them.

5. I smoke a pack of cigarettes a day - very very bad. I must think about quitting but not just yet.

6. I have a ton more aquaintances than actual friends. I think I may only have one good friend but I keep her at a distance and we see each other maybe once a month. I use the excuse that I don't have the time but this problem with friendships dates way back.

7. I just finished my first year law school and work full-time. Sometimes I think I am crazy but this is a goal that I wanted to start when I was 23 and I should have done it then but better later than never. I have alway been labelled a *gifted* learner so thank goodness studying comes easy for me.

Here are the blogs that I am passing the *Versatile Blogger Award * on to. I've tried to place them in alphabetical order because I enjoy reading all of them. The support and the encouragement that I have found on line through reading all of these wonderful blogs has been immeasurable in helping me so far. It`s just incredible the great people that are out there that although we are all *virtual* strangers we can connect and support each other.

A Day in the life of an HCG Dieter http://dayinlifehcg.blogspot.com/
Autumn’s Rosier Days http://autumnrose323.blogspot.com/
Fat to Fit Mommy http://www.fat2fitmommy.com/
HeyYou, Drop the Fork and Step Away from the Plate http://putthedamnforkdown.blogspot.com/
HCG Willpower http://hcgwillpower.blogspot.com/
HCG&Me on the Road to Find Out http://hcgandmeontheroadtofindout.blogspot.com/
Just me and My HCG http://maggie73.blogspot.com/
Journey to Me Via HCG http://journeytomeviahcg.blogspot.com/
Kathlean Again http://kathleanagain.blogspot.com/
Kym's Journey to Fit and Forty http://kymsjourney2.blogspot.com/
Mommy Gone Milf Via HCG http://mommygonemilf.blogspot.com/
Miss Mary's This and That http://missmarysravesandrants.blogspot.com/
Let it Be: A Smaller me http://darby-letitbeasmallerme.blogspot.com/
One Day at a Time http://kateonedayatatime.blogspot.com/
Random Thoughts and HCG http://therealhcg.blogspot.com/
Saving Me with HCG http://savingmewithhcg.blogspot.com/
Sie hat eimen Knutschfleck http://knutschfleck.blogspot.com/
Starting Life 25 Years Late http://startinglife25yearslate.blogspot.com/
The Real HCG Journey http://therealhcg.blogspot.com/

I am really not very technically literate so once I find out how to insert a hyperlink, I'll fix the links.

Sending good loss or stabilizing vibes to everyone.

All the injections are mixed - should I still call this R2?

Hello ladies and gentlemen. All the injections are mixed - 40 in total. The brand is Ovidac. For now they're sitting in an empty covered margarine container in the fridge but I think I'll freeze 20 of them. I've never frozen before but I've heard positive things about it.

I've had two days of loading. Not sure if I ate enough because I don't have that "ready to puke" feeling but I sure did eat a lot today. I am scared to get on the scale. But I will tomorrow morning and I'm hoping it's not too much damage.

I've had two failed attempts at semi-rounds of R2P2 ( which I'm pretty sure I can attribute to the hcg spray I bought off Ebay). But even so I think I will still call this round R2 again. I am determined to get as far away from 200 as possible this time. It's not good for the psyche when you rotate between the low to mid 190's and the low 200's.

Things are still kind of in transition between the old job and the new job and they will be for quite some time because I haven't reached the comfort level that I want to be at yet and things with Mr. K are not the greatest and require A LOT of energy and I am starting to feel out of control in a lot of areas again. I will have to maintain a super level of focus while studying for this upcoming bar exam and I don't want to gain any more weight while doing that. I really like the level of focus and determination that being on the protocol gave me. Being very strict with eating transfers over to getting other areas of my life organized and more focused. So here's to a successful R2P2!

Sending good loss and/or stabilization vibes to everyone...

Not too sure what day it should be !

I'm hovering anywhere between 198 and 202. I didn't post today's weight because the last time I weighed was Saturday and I was 199.
The package containing my injections arrived this week. It made it over the border past the customs militants in record time. It's Ovidac brand. Not sure what I used the first round as this protocol was all new to me then and I didn't realize that there are different brands. If anyone has any ratings (postive or negative) about Ovidac, I'd love to hear them. But I do know that I definitely prefer the injections. The spray really wasn't the best quality and I was super hungry for the last part of when I was taking it. I think the guy I bought it from cooked it up on a homemade chemistry set in his basement.

It's been a crazy time since I last posted. We went on a mini vacation to Canada's Wonderland (June 30 - July 2) and the girls loved it. It was TONS of walking because the amusement park was huge. They're trying to copy Disney in every way and they're doing a great job of it. The only thing is that the food on site was soooo expensive. For example a slice of pizza was $12. The second day we went off site to eat when I realized that the day parking pass included "in/out" privileges.

I started my new job officially June 30th even though I was off that day. It's been stressful as I'm still in the transition between old job and new job and still sitting in the same place on the same floor - jsut making more money and reporting to a new director. I really like my new director so far but it's a lot of change to take in and they have a lot of expectations for this role and I just hope I can live up to it.

My in-laws are coming to visit for a few days starting tomorrow and one of my bathrooms is still all torn up with the door locked because we can't afford to finish the reno right now. I also have to decide if I will fly to San Fran in late October to write the 1st year law school bar exam. The registration fee is $650 plus another $800 for my flight and hotel. I have until July 31 to register and make the decision if I will have enough time to study and be sure that I will pass because I don't want to go through all the effort and money if I don't pass. I passed the first year of law school. Not sure how I did it with all the stress and three screaming but beautiful kids and losing weight but I think being on the protocol and being in that strict mindset really helped with the focusing on the study. So I'm quite proud of the achievement. Three more years to go.

I enjoy reading all of your blogs and the community of support. So keep up the great work ladies/gentlement (well mostly ladies!) and I'm sending you all good vibes for loss or stabilitzation!

So...it's not the best time to be on protocol P2 right now and be able to dedicate the energy and mental state that it requires to be dedicated and strict. TOM is due any time now so I will decide if I will start P2 after that.

VLCD 24 ( R2 P2 ) 195.6

I would recommend to the entire HCG community NOT to order HCG spray. I really don't know what's in it but it's not working for me. Some days I'm fine and then other days by the evening I'm absolutely RAVENOUS. I haven't lost any more weight and I'm tired and frustrated and I think it's time to call it quits for R2P2. I will try to do my three days of no hcg spray and then get on P3. I'm taking the kids on a mini vacation on Tuesday. W e will stay for Canada Day (July 1) and then maybe a few more days at a hotel. I got my tax refund back so we have a bit of *mad* money to play with.

I ordered a new batch of HCG injections and am waiting for them to arrive. I am really hoping the package makes it through customs.

Father's day was last Sunday and for some reason it really affected me this year whereas other years I kind of just put it out of my mind. My father is living and lives close to me so is still in my life but I never had in the past as a child or currently as an adult a relationship with my father. He was always *jsut there* but I was never close to him. We never talked, we always disagreed and being the oldest of five children I had a lot of resentment towards him. He was mean, volatile and just a miserable person in general. As a grandfather he is much better with my children than he was with us kids as a father. But for some reason it still lingers and stings and Sunday I took it hard. Maybe part of it was hormonal but I long for the *what if's* and what it *could* have been like and what I missed out on by not having a good father-daughter relationship. I didn't cheat on protocol that day but it set the tone for the rest of the week.

On a more positive note, I finally signed my letter for my new position and work and the director gave me a 12% increase. I'm going way out of my comfort zone with this new job and the anticipation of change and the fear of not measuring up to the expectations that they have for me in this new role is causing me to internalize some stress. Plus being *really* hungry every night doesn't help. I've been having a handful of potato chips or some extra protein or an extra fruit and it's stalled the weight loss. Plus the sunburn I had and all the lotion I slathered on also caused a bit of a gain but definitely stalled any loss.

So, I'll be on P3 for a while I think. Or unless I take an interruption and get right back on P2 when my new shipment of injections arrrive. We'll see. But I definitley don't want to gain back any of the weight lost in R1 so I'm going to plan accordingly.

Sorry for the long post and congrats if you've made it this far. Just sort of rambling. Have lots of change going on now and am entering some new unchartered territory while at the same time dealing with the past. I still have at *least* 40 pounds to go and will get there. Slowly but surely.

VLCD 18 ( R2 P2 ) : 193.8

Another 0.6 pound loss - I'll take it.

Spent today at the waterslide park again - I'm so glad I bought the season pass. The girls love it there. I pack them a cooler and a ton of water for me. I brought them subway today so there was no extra food for me to be tempted by. It was great exercise walking up the steep hills but I can really feel my muscles are weak. I guess that is to be expected as per what it says in the protocol.

I sprayed on a ton of SPF 35 so that I wouldn't get burnt again. I hope that the spray doesn't have an affect on the weight loss. It's going down slowly but surely.

VLCD 17 ( R2 P2 ) : 194.4

Lost o.4 of a pound yesterday. I'll take it - better than a gain.
So the weekend is coming up and it's always hard for me not having the daily work schedule to keep me away from food prep.

What's really keeping me going though is that I don't want to have to recover from a cheat gain.
It would be great if I could get down to 185 this P2 considering that I've botched the first half of this round. I'm thinking of taking the kids to Canada's Wonderland on June 27 so I'd like to be on P3 by then or the day after. That's only 9 more days so I don't think the 185 is reachable. But, maybe I'll change my mind and try to stay on P2 while on vacation but that might not be a good idea. We'll see.

Cheating and going off protocol is just not worth it for me. But getting back on track is the main thing in the long run. Sending good loss or stabilizing vibes to everyone this weekend.

VLCD 16 ( R2 P2 ) : 194.8

Lost another pound - it's good to see the numbers finally starting to go down again.

It's national Aboriginal Day today and they had live bands and a bbq lunch outside. I bought an Elk sausage, split it in half, removed the bun and had tomato and onions on the side. That was the best selection I had to choose from. I think it will be okay.

I'm trying my best to get the water in - as many ounces as I can. But I seriously think I'm going to start to float.