VLCD 17 ( R2 P2 ) : 194.4

Lost o.4 of a pound yesterday. I'll take it - better than a gain.
So the weekend is coming up and it's always hard for me not having the daily work schedule to keep me away from food prep.

What's really keeping me going though is that I don't want to have to recover from a cheat gain.
It would be great if I could get down to 185 this P2 considering that I've botched the first half of this round. I'm thinking of taking the kids to Canada's Wonderland on June 27 so I'd like to be on P3 by then or the day after. That's only 9 more days so I don't think the 185 is reachable. But, maybe I'll change my mind and try to stay on P2 while on vacation but that might not be a good idea. We'll see.

Cheating and going off protocol is just not worth it for me. But getting back on track is the main thing in the long run. Sending good loss or stabilizing vibes to everyone this weekend.

VLCD 16 ( R2 P2 ) : 194.8

Lost another pound - it's good to see the numbers finally starting to go down again.

It's national Aboriginal Day today and they had live bands and a bbq lunch outside. I bought an Elk sausage, split it in half, removed the bun and had tomato and onions on the side. That was the best selection I had to choose from. I think it will be okay.

I'm trying my best to get the water in - as many ounces as I can. But I seriously think I'm going to start to float.

VLCD 15 (2nd post today)

No weigh-in until tomorrow morning but I just had to share with you guys that ..... I GOT THE JOB!!

I was in shock today when my soon-to-be new director told me. He came by and I was on the phone so I called him up after and said that I had seen him come by and asked what I could do for him. He said to come down to his office and that's when he told me. I think I'm happy but really not too sure. A promotion is what I've been working for all these years but I really think the extra weight really affected my self perception and my confidence and also how I came across to other people. I know I'm by no means "thin" or "skinny" yet but 195 looks good on me and I think losing this 35 pounds so far has made a huge difference in a lot of areas of my life. I've mastered getting under 200 which has been an unreachable goal for so long.

It's funny that I haven't been feeling well the past few days with the sunburn and all and on the day of the interview I had to rush to the washroom and almost didn't make it just 10 minutes before the interview. I kept thinking that I would be late showing up and the interview panel woudl be sitting there waiting for me and I would be stuck in the washroom. Oh well. It went great beyond my expectations anyways. The director told me today that he was so extremely impressed with me that he doesn't think he could have done any better himself. My confidence level has gone so upwards because of this. Although it won't be a big salary increase what it does do is put me into the next salary bracket where the maximum is 25K higher than the bracket I'm in now. It will be a while but I can only go up in salary from here.

At the same time, even though my confidence has gone up that they *picked* me, I'm still scared to death of the change and what it entails. I am a good worker but I'm not sure of this new director and his style. I've always had a great working relationship that isn't militaristic or hierarchical with any other manager I've had. But with this person, I'm not too sure. He seems a little "old school" but I figure I need to take this leap. It's not my *dream* job but I'm sure it will open new doors for new opportunites.

Sorry to blabber on about this. I'm just so happy. And I think this weight loss journey has played a big part in getting to this point. I did everything right in the past in terms of working hard and networking and getting really good reviews but I really think I was lacking the confidence to get noticed for a promotion. The weight loss so far has put a lot more things into perspective for me.

Thanks ladies for all your support. It means so so much to me. I'm sending good loss or stabilitzing vibes to everyone.

VLCD 15 ( R2 P2 ) : 195.9

Still dealing with the bad sunburn. It's no joke that when I touch my skin it still feels hot. It's extremely uncomfortable but I'm dealing with it. The sunburn has stalled the weight loss a bit I think. It's either that or the massive amount of afterburn cream I slathered onto my arms and shoulders. I'm staying on protocol strictly but I'm sooooo tired in the mornings and bitchy when I come home in the evening because I'm so tired. I think I'll start taking the B12 tablets again.

I went for another job interview yesterday which woudl mean a promotion. I'm not sure if I even will like the job (it's similar to what I'm doing now). However, it will mean going up into the next salary bracket and I guess in order to get there I may need to take a leap and see where it brings me.

I am terribly afraid of change. I'd rather be miserable in familiar territory than to leave behind what I know. It's not in all cases but particularly true in my work life. I'll find out tomorrow if I get the job or not. We'll see. I wanted the previous job that I had applied for more than this one but I'm a huge believer in you'll end up where you're meant to be in that particular time and place.

I feel skinny today. I know at 195 pounds it's not but I think I look good. It's weird how depending upon what you wear some days you just feel thinner. I had my photo taken for my season pass card at the water park this past Sunday and I didn't recognize myself when I looked at the pic. No more chinnage action going on and my face looks quite slim. That's a good feeling. Now if I could just lose the stomach.

VLCD 13 ( R2 P2 ): 197.4

Thank you all you fine ladies for the words of encouragement. It means a lot to have you guys rooting for me.

I am proud to say that I stayed on protocol strictly all day yesterday and drank a TON of water. Had lots of fun- the only issue was having to go pee every half hour. I put on my bathing suit ( a tankini) and got a major sunburn all down my arms and top of my back. Dealing with the pain today and put on some afterburn lotion this morning. Then I freaked out because I didn't look at the ingredients of the lotion. Oh well - time will tell on that one.

It was amazing what a difference a loss of 35 pounds makes when rolling or carrying inner tubes up ski hills to get to the top of the mountains. My 2-year old is 33 pounds and I kept thinking that having that extra 34 pounds on me is like picking up my 2 year old and carrying her all the way up the hill with me. I fully participated yesterday whereas before I would always stay in the kiddy section and watch the youngest child. Yesterday I went on all the slides with my older 2 girls and had a blast without feeling self conscious. There is a sign there saying the maximum capacity per innertube is 250 pounds. I was able to fit myself and one of my daughters on one tube without having to worry. If I lost 45 more pounds then all three of us could go together.

My lunch today was chicken breast, tomatos and red onion. My snack was 2 breadsticks and this afternoon i will have an apple. Plus more water.

VLDC 12 ( R2 P2 ) : 197.4

Okay - I'm STRUGGLING - big time. I am having a really hard time sticking to the protocol. I cheated on Thursday night and Friday night when we went to the kids' fun fairs (each girl had one each on Thurs and Fri). So all day Thurs I was on protocol strict with lots of water and then we we got to the fun fair I had a hamburger with just one side of the bun. I was so hungry I got another one and did the same thing. My daughter won a cake in the cake walk and the icing was just calling my name. I ended up licking the icing off the reaming pieces of the cake. Very bad eating impulses - I know. So then Friday I was back on plan all day and at the fun fair that night they had a bake sale table. I was good for a while then I bought four cookies and ate them. Then I had a chicken burger. So Saturday I woke up to a 3.8 pound gain.

Yesterday (Saturday) I got back on track and had a 2.5 pound loss. The whole problem on Thurs and Fri is that I didn't plan and bring my dinner with me. I thought I could wait until after but the hunger and temptation won out.

Today we're going to the water park all day with a cooler. I am packing my lunch and will drink a gazillion bottles of water before I eat any of the chips or cheesies I packed with the childrens; picnic. Putting my bathing suit on today will be a reality/wake-up call that I need to get real about getting the rest of this weight off. Yesterday was nice because I drank so much water and ate strictly on protocol that I wasn't even hungry - I felt so full it was actually hard to eat all of my sald at dinner.

VLCD 9 ( R2 P2 ): 195.9

Why isn't the weight coming off faster???

Since VLCD number 1 of this round I have lost 7.3 pounds. (started at 203.2) I know that it's 7.3 pounds in 8 days. BUT .......I've only lost 1.1 pounds since from day 5 to day 9 (this morning).

I'm trying to keep the faith. Maybe it's the spray is not working as well for me as the injections. I think I'll increase the number of times I spray per day. The bottle says to do 7 sprays three X per day. But most days I just do it 2x.

When I see the poundage going down it's so much easier to just stay strict but when it's only been one pound in 4 days that sucks and the frustration starts to creep in.

It's day 2 of TOM and I have never really had any physical symptoms in the past just the emotional/hormonal moodswings and bad ones. But at the beginning of this week I had terrible painful cramping that actually caused me to stop and sit and take a time out while grocery shopping. Yesterday I had a migraine and today it's still here.

It's wierd because in R1 I would have been estatic to see 195 on the scales. But now that I've gotten down into new territory, it seems such a high number. I am going to stick it out and charge through today and tomorrow. I made a ground chicken burger for lunch with onions and I'm excited to eat it. All good things come in time - patience, patience I keep telling myself!!