Day 11 ( R1 P 3 ) : 201.3

I hate having to post this number. I thought I was staying on track. I had caesar salad last night (no croutons) but hardly any protein with it. Maybe that's why. I'm 2.5 pounds over LIW and I'll probably see a higher number tomorrow. Sorry for this negative post - just have to vent. I had a shitty day with a capital "S".

I had my daugther's 7th birthday today at a gymnastics club and there was icecream cake. I had a piece and then when I came home had two more pieces of the leftovers. My husband pissed me off so badly and the party was going horribly and I gave in to eating to deal with the stress. For breakfast I had two boiled eggs, 3 pieces of bacon and 2 sausages. At the party I had one hotdog (no bun) and then I gave in to the cake. The party was from 12-2 and at noon my husband said he would go get the ketchup we forgot for the hotdogs I brought to the party and come right back and we would then decide where to order the pizza. He left me alone with a 2 year old and 14 other children and just took off and didn't show up again until 1:30. He brought back one pizza and the lunch started at 1 and he just strolled in with the one pizza at 1:30 like nothing happened. He thought because he had packed and unpacked the car that his work was done and he didn't need to do anything else. I don't know why it pissed me off so badly but I was so angry with him. I think I was already so frustrated with see the 200 number again that I said screw this and just ate the cake. Then this afternoon I had two pieces of bread with peanut butter and sugar free jam. We had a huge fight after the party and then the blame game started and all the stuff about the finances and how I don't know how to use money properly even though I'm the one that has the responsibility of paying the bills and keeping everything a float. I'm so ashamed to say that I threw the left-over hotdogs at him and the baby was asleep in the car while I did this and then he just opened the door and threw everthing out onto the road. So embarassing. So I don't know if it's hormonal or what but I know it is ovulation time so maybe that's it. But I don't know what to do now if I should just do a steak day tomorrow and try to recover from the possible weight gain.

Sorry for this depressing post and thanks for reading this far if you are still reading this. I have to get my moods under control and not let things get me so pissed off. I should have just taken care of ordering everything myself and left him there with the kids.

Day 8 ( R1 P3 ) : 199.9

Creeping up a little bit. Think I have to cut back on the cool-whip just in case. I like to have a couple of tbsp with some sugar-free jello and almonds mixed in.

Thanks for the advice on the TV. And you know what - I did deserve it given the hard work I have done staying on protocol for 47 days and losing 32.5 pounds. I got a year-end bonus from work so I felt a bit better about the expense. I paid $350 for a 32 inch LCD TV and then $25 for the environmental fee. With taxes it came to over $400 but I don't regret it. It's not a brand name TV but the picture is amazing. We're watching just the regular satellite channels but I have to investigate getting the HD terminal instead of just the regular digital box. Plus I need to find a higher table to put the TV on just to prevent the baby from getting too close. She's a handful but such a joy at the same time.

I bought two new summer dresses on the weekend. I also bought two short-sleeved sweater shrugs to cover my flabby arms but I must say I do look amazing in them. I brought them into the dressing room thinking that they wouldn't fit because they are just XL and not from a plus size store but they fit! I haven't felt so sexy looking in a long time. It's harder to get dressed in the morning though because I have so many clothes that are either too big or still a little too small from the days when I would buy clothes in smaller sizes because they were on sale and thinking I would get into them *some day*.

The only issue I'm having is feeling soooooo tired. I don't know if I'm having some sort of vitamin deficiency but I'm eating red meat so I don't think it's iron deficiency but I don't know. By 2 pm I feel like I could just pass out and fall asleep.

Day 6 ( R1 P3 ) 198.6

So glad that I am maintaining the loss.

Took today off. My 2-year old is cranky and still sick and slept from 6pm last night till 5 this morning. I didn't go to bed last night until after midnight so I am tired. I took the day off and brought her late to the daycare after the * TV episode * this morning.

Sshe sprayed the TV with the entire contents of the water spray bottle that I use for my hair to keep it curly in between washings. So now the TV is busted. It's a 1993 model so it is technically time for a new one but it worked perfectly. I don't see the sense in buying a new LCD or Plasma TV when the old one was working just fine. What I don't know I'm missing in the high-tech world won't hurt me. So now I have to decide if I take the smaller TV from storage and use that or just break down and buy a new one that we can't really afford to buy.

Arrrrrrrgh....it's days like this that make me stressed but I am not really interested in turning to food so that's a good thing. Before I would think , oh i'm stressed so I have an excuse to pig out.
It feels good to not have to turn to overeating to deal with life. I hope I can make this attitude permanent.

Day 5 ( R1 P3 ) 199.4

I can't believe my weight is stable considering everything that I'm eating. I'm not measuring anything or counting calories but just going with eating when I feel hungry. Yesterday was a *girl's* day out shopping because I received a year end incentive bonus from work. The kids got new sneakers that I would normally never pay that much for and their hair cut. I bought 2 pairs of shoes.

Here's what I ate yesterday:

Breakfast : 2 scrambled egss ( with 1% milk), 2 pieces of bacon, small amount of ketchup

Lunch: small container of chili from Wendy's takeout. I wasn't too sure about the kidney beans but I figured the scale would let me know. Because I think kidney beans are *legumes* and are not alllowed.

Dinner: took the girls to a gourmet burger restaurant called "The Works". I ordered a bunless burger with onions, cheddar, bacon, avacado and mushrooms. When I asked they told me they don't put breadcrumbs or any bbq sauce on the burgers. They have over 200 varieties of toppings that you can have on a burger. For example, you can get one with brie cheese and a sliced pear. The girls had fries and I had a ceasar salad no croutons.

Late night snack: whipped cool whip topping with cashews.

I don't know if I am doing everything right eating-wise. I am simply trying to follow the protocol of *no sugar, no starch*. I check every morning to see if the weight is +/- 1 LIW. Yesterday it was 198,6 and today it's 199.4. I'm just taking it day by day. If you guys have any suggestions or if I'm not doing this right, let me know. Thanks!

Day 3 ( R1 P3) : 199.7

Staying about 1 pound over. I'm not feeling hungry or really looking for food at all. When it's time to eat, I eat because I'm hungry and not because I'm all excited about the opportunity to eat and wantto inhale everything that I possibly can. This is a huge change for me of eating only when I'm hungry and not overeating and I'm hoping it's not just because it's a good time in the hormonal cycle.

I had at the restaurant for my daughter's b-day I had a bunless burger with all the fixings and a bit of ketchup.
Then I had a 45 calorie no sugar fudgsicle and I wasn't sure what would happen but apparently nothing did. It did have some carb grams in it but definitely no sugar (it had malitol) and no starch that I could see on the ingredients.

This morning I had two homemade egg mcmuffin type sandwiches with bacon, egg, cheese and mayo and of course no bread. It was my turn to host the Fri morning breakfast at work and I made 18 egg patties (basically just scrambled eggs in a sprayed small circular tupperware container. I cut up fruit and cheese and tomatoes and lettuce. By 10:30 I was done and drove all the stuff to work and put it in the fridge and then went to the grocery store to pick up a pumpkin pie. I got home close to midnight and went to bed at about 1 am. So I was going non-stop all that time.

Without me knowing, my mom baked a spice cake with cream cheese frosting, an apple coffee cake and a bananna nut bread and put it in my car early this morning and called to let me know it was there. So there was so much food. I received raving compliments and everyone at work really chowed down and thoroughly enjoyed it. Not having any of the desserts did not bother me at all. I was shocked.

For lunch today I met my husband for a "lunch date" and I had rotisserie chicken and caesar salad. I was so full. Haven't had dinner yet but had a handful of almonds. My stomach is feeling a bit better but I feel "greasy" which is hard to explain but I'm going to take Nikki's advice and go to the pharamacy tonight.

I'm really hoping that this feeling of not really caring about eating and not being obsessed about it is not just a fluke and that I can feel like this for all of P3.

Day 2 ( R1 P3) : 199.8

Tried to make the Oopsie rolls. Broke my mixer trying to get the egg whites to make stiff peaks.
It's one of those all in one hand mixers. I'm going to buy a hand mixer with beaters and hopefully that will make a difference. I put the runny batter into muffin cups and they came out all right.

My tummy hurts! I haven't really been that hungry but for breakfast this morning I had egg salad and for lunch I had the cheese and toppings off two pieces of pizza that they sell here at work every Thursday. I ditched the crust.

Today is my middle daughter's 7th birthday. She wants to go out for dinner so I think I'll let them order cake at the restaurant. That way I won't be tempted by having to buy a cake and bring it home and cut it.

I'm having a hard time finding HCG injections from buyers who will ship to Canada. Customs seems to be really cracking down as of late. Not sure why or if it's just for HCG that they're getting more agressive in checking but I don't want to order and have to wait 8 weeks wondering if customs will ever release the parcel or if they will just confiscate it and destroy the contents.

Does anyone have any recommendations for low-carb tortillas?

VLCD 49: 199.2 ( R 1 P 2) Day 2 no injection

Not sure about the weigh-in this morning. I was very quick and had to rush off to write an exam for 8:30. I took the day off and went to write a "situational judgement" test for a job competition with a government department that I applied for. Left the house at 7 am to catch the bus since there would be very limited parking downtown. My two year old was up all night puking with a fever so it took a toll on me and my sleep. My hubby had to stay home this morning from work and he went in the afternoon. We're both sooooo tired today and it's day 2 of TOM so I'm not feeling the greatest.

I am about to make some "Oopsie" rolls now for tomorrow's lunch. Was out of eggs so just sent my hubby to pick some up.

I am extremely nervous about starting P3. I wish I had just a little more leeway with the +/-2 LIW so that I never see the 200 number again. Doing some research and really trying to plan what I'm going to eat on P3 so that I don't get distracted and off track.